headache

I nearly forgot how long it has been since the last time I cried like this.
It feels like all oxygen has been used up and you gonna die from crying.
There are just some moments that you simply want to cry...
that you almost force yourself into do it.
You keep looping the saddest song which always makes you cry harder.
I guess it's somehow an act of self-abuse but I just feel like doing it.

Fuck I hate it so badly when the headache hit me after crying too hard.

fucked up

OK I assume no one is using xg nowadays.
Anyways that's great especially when you wanna type some of the BS that you really gotta yell out.
yeah yeah yeah it seems all idiotic typing out things when you don't expect or don't want ppl to see it.
Yet there is just a strong feeling of "YOU GOTTA TYPE IT OUT" and "YOU WILL FEEL MUCH BETTER".
So here it goes.

I'm so fucked up.

I hv completely messed it up. I know it's nobody's fault and the fault is completely mine.
I can't or shouldn't blame other ppl but myself.
I'm so screwed up that I can't sleep... despite the whole tiredness thing caused by the meds.
Seriously, I HATE YOU. I HATE THIS WHOLE PIECE OF SHIT.
Sometimes I just feel like strangling you to death... tho I'd never do so.
Sometimes I just don't wanna talk to you and I don't want to start the whole bloody shit-like conversation.
Sometimes I hope I could drop the whole thing and started it again.
BUT there's no such thing as AGAIN in this world. Bygones are bygones.
Things that are done cannot be changed or amended.

This whole piece of crap doesn't make any sense.
It's pretty obvious cause my brain is messed up as scrambled egg now.
Well but who cares, nobody on this bloody earth is gotta read it anyways.
I've been told that ppl who say "I don't need ppl to understand me" are ppl who actually desire attention the most.
I guess it's pretty much the truth.
I'm so beating myself up in the dilemma of shud I say it out loud or shud I keep it to myself.
Anyhow, I assume doing sth is always better than not doing.

Phew. Gotta sleep now.

QAF<3

started watching QAF after exam and it's amazingly brilliant!!
Yeah Gale playing Brian is super hot but im not really into him.
Love the friendship between mike and brian.
Always there. Always with him. Always love him.
It's like the sweetest drama i've watched.
it's not just about queer but in fact, it's all about life.
Anyways it's a real great drama.

Gotta start study soon!! Today's study plan sucks.
Only studied the stupid mass spectrometer -,-

You Can (Not) Advance

Sick. Sick. Sick.
Anyways thanks a lot for u guys' birthday greetings.
WOHOOOO! Netherlands defeated Slovakia!!
but then i needa face ML in the next match!!!!
It will be a totally disaster

You are (not) alone.
You can (not) advance.
Ok. I'm going to re-watch to whole 26 episodes.
Plus 3 OVA. Plus 3 movies.

今度こそ、君だけは幸せにしてみせるよ。

SSPC<3

congrats guys! finally did it! Love you all
Well actually just like elki...I am not very very thrilled by the champ thing.
I am of course very pleased that we finally won.
but then every time when i recall that i screwed up the last part
it really sucks. The feeling of "you didn't do well in your part and then you won" really sucks.
anyways, except for my last crappy part, everything was extremely good.
Again, thanks a lot to you all. Expecting tang's lunch
Hang tough in the exam. After that! we can go to SH expo!!

one more thingie! I found Maurice DVD!!! I love myself so such!
Gotta pick it up tmr after CHEM exam!  Needa buy the book too!